Time to refresh the water on the Brussel Sprout boiling, hide the sherry from grandma, panic over the batteries for Mom's toy, and check under the tree.
Bonus - Gertrude, a 94-year-old widow, was heartbroken after her husband Harold died. She decided to end it all with his old Army pistol.
Wanting to make sure she hit her heart and didn’t just cripple herself, she called her doctor. “Doctor, where exactly is a woman’s heart?” “Right below the left breast,” he told her.
That night Gertrude was admitted to the hospital with a bullet straight through her knee.
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